But bedtime…oh, the end is near. She will rest, peaceful and sweet, and I will have some time to myself. On her way to bed, we must say goodnight to Daddy. Oh, wait, no….Bubba comes first. Sorry Daddy! Bubba always comes first, then Sissy. Then Daddy, Phoebe, Lulu. Then the fun begins. She kisses random objects on her way to her room. A stray baseball cap? Pick it up, kiss the air where her Daddy’s head was a few hours earlier. Her books? At least one will get a smooch. Her Butt Paste? Yup. She loves her medicine, AKA ‘no-ma’. I don’t know why she calls it that, or how that translates to ‘medicine’, but it does. And it kills me when she says it, and when she kisses that tube of ‘no-ma’.

I let her pick out her 2 or 3 bedtime books for the night. A ‘Biscuit‘ book is always in the rotation. Often, that rascally puppy is joined by Olivia and Spot, or one of my favorites, a Sandra Boynton book. She snuggles in to nurse, one of many potential stuffed companions nestled under her arm, and that moment is immeasurably sweet. We rarely make it through 2 pages before she wants to switch and nurse on the other side. Then she really settles in for the long haul. She points out the birdies and squirrels and babies in each book. She always waves goodnight to the characters at the end of the books.

I no longer have to/get to nurse her to sleep. She’s much too big for that. She is perfectly fine to walk to her own crib and let me lift her in. Before I lay her down, she gives me a perfect little kiss. She tucks her stuffed buddy in next to her, then lays on her tummy, arms splayed out to the sides. I pull her pink covers over her, pat her bottom, rub her back for a moment and then say “Goodnight….I love you, baby…”.

I immediately begin to miss her, the second I’ve left her room, but I also breathe a little sigh of relief. One down, two to go.

Admittedly, I take longer to process my thoughts and feelings than some. The controversial Time Magazine cover came out last week, and at first, all I could do was seethe. No, not because there’s a breast on the cover. GASP. Not because there’s a non-baby attached to that breast. No, it was because I am so sick and tired of the media treating us like we are all just copies of each other, slightly different in color or shape, but all basically the same. All made of “ticky tacky”, all following the same “rules”. (I refuse to link to that cover. Google it if you must, but I will not bestow the traffic of my 3 followers upon that monstrosity of a website/magazine.)

The fact is, I try not to follow any rules. I used to. I used to live in fear of doing anything wrong or disappointing some unknown, unseen person who might judge me if they found out this or that about me. These days, I just do what works for us. In some ways, that’s what I’ve always done – I just wasn’t strong or brave enough to know that.

I wore all my babies in carriers at different points in their lives, and for different lengths of time. I wasn’t trying to follow a guru (I don’t even really know who Dr. Sears is) or impress anyone. It was easier that way. Once in a carrier, a child feels a sense of closeness that they crave, but they also realize they can’t just squirm to get down. They are safe. This is far easier for me than trying to constantly hold a greasy little hand that wants nothing more than to be shoved inside an electrical outlet or stretched up to reach the stove top.

I breastfed all my babies, again for varying lengths of time. It was never because “breast is best” – it was cheap and it was easy. I know it’s not, for plenty of women (easy, I mean), but it was for me. You mean, instead of getting up a bazillion times a night to make a bottle, I can just grab my baby, pull her into bed with me (if she’s not there already), and nurse her while we both get some much needed sleep? SIGN ME UP.

I co-sleep as needed, and not because I think I need to be constantly attached to my child. Again, it’s easiest. I move the baby to her bed when it suits me, if she’s content and I need my space. She’s fine with that. I’m fine with that. We’re thriving.

I spank my children as needed. Sometimes a stern talking to just won’t cut it. Sometimes a spanking is exactly what is needed to get Eli to snap out of his shenanigans and return to the human world. They don’t happen often (especially now that his food and therefore his behavior is basically under control). But they do happen. What category am I in? My own.

I homeschool my children. This isn’t a religious decision. It’s a What’s-Best-For-Our-Family decision. Bri was NOT learning what she needed to learn in public school. And she was in an excellent school, less than a block from our home. But it wasn’t excellent for HER. She was falling behind in math, left to her own devices, told to “figure it out” repeatedly. How this can be considered teaching, I will never know. Now, at home, we go at her pace, and at Eli’s pace, because we have that freedom, that luxury. I have the privilege of doing this for my children, and I’m so grateful for it. I know not all parents have that ability or desire or financial freedom. We make it work, but it’s not part of any defined parenting style or the master plan of some guru.

I absolutely detest the media and their ongoing mission to pit mother against mother. Don’t we all punish ourselves enough, with guilt and doubt and worry that we are failing our children, or failing our partner, or not doing as much as we should be in our job? Why must we let the media perpetuate this travesty of the Stay at Home Mom vs the Working Mom? Don’t they know that we don’t fall into those neat little categories? Don’t they know that we don’t care??

First, WE need to know that. WE need to be brave and strong and solid in our beliefs, so they can’t find even one little sliver of doubt to creep into. We need to live and let live. We need to just be.

Yummiest Chicken Tacos Ever

• 1 lb of chicken breast (can sub meat for you chicken haters)
• 1 can of refried beans
• shredded mexican cheese
• 1/2 Tbsp. Garlic powder
• 1/2 Tbsp. Onion powder
• 1 1/2 tsp. cumin
• 1 tsp. oregano (we use dried)
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. pepper
• 12 soft tortillas of your choice (we like these)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Cook up the chicken breast on the stove top. I like to cook it in coconut oil. (I cook everything in it – such a wonderful, healthy fat)
3. Chop the chicken up into small pieces/shreds. We use this and just chop it up right in the pan.
4. In a large bowl, combine the spices, refried beans and chicken.
5. In the center of each tortilla, place 1/4 cup of the mixture and sprinkle with mexican cheese.
6. Fold 2 sides into the center and then fold the ends up so it’s a little package of deliciousness.
7. Place each tortilla with the folded side down on a buttered cookie sheet.
8. Bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy!

We like to have a veggie and some rice on the side, and dip the taco in sour cream. For the rice, we use the same seasonings as the taco mixture. We use jasmine rice, but instant would work, too

This is all a very roundabout, overwrought way of saying that I cut my own hair tonight. Something that never would have even entered the realm of my possibilities at any other time in my life, I did it tonight, pretty much on a whim. And it was more than just a trim. AND it’s cute!

Before = a shaggy mess

HOTNESS.

Cutting one's own hair is dangerous. OUCH.

After = my neck gets to breathe again!

Yay!

Edy's Double Chocolate Chunk

You get the idea. I’ve been doing so well for roughly 3 days, too. THREE WHOLE DAYS. I suppose it was bound to happen, eventually, that my resolve would waver and I would be overcome with a ridiculous desire to consume a whole bunch of something. Ice cream is my go-to, and I did indeed go to it after this hellish afternoon.

You see, my son has a new obsession with lying. He can be scarily convincing or just ridiculously transparent, with no real rhyme or reason. He lies to cover up things he is doing or has done, and he gets irate if someone (coughBriannacough) tells on him. Which – duh, she totally does, at every single opportunity. I’ve been seriously limiting TV time, working on our diet, spending lots of time reading to them, and otherwise just doing my best to chill them out and open up their creative brains. Lately I think the main problem is that they’ve been spending too much time inside. It’s been cold and dreary and muddy and just not the greatest conditions for hours of play outside. It’s also hard to send them outside when it’s too cold for their baby sister to go out with them, because I can’t get anything done without their help. She loves to play with them, and sits at the window watching for them, calling out “Bubba!” over and over and getting into mischief.

So anyway, Eli tried to destroy his big sister today when she was about to tell on him for secretly playing with the iPod after he claimed he wanted to be alone to read. And I fell for it, again. He asks for alone time, and my instinct is to respect that and encourage it. Then I find out he’s breaking the rules and trying to strangle his sister for spoiling the fun and I just want to scream. And eat ice cream.

If I didn’t hate puking so much, I might totally get down with some bulimia. Because I wanted that ice cream so badly that I could think of nothing else. Until I’d eaten it and then I fell into the shame spiral and wished I hadn’t eaten it, because it wasn’t worth it and I don’t feel any better and why do I suck so completely, etc etc shenanigans.

Advice for the harried homemaker? Have you dealt with a big fat liar of a child? How did you handle it? Commiserate with me or solve all my problems. Or make me feel better about the ice cream. Or tell me about something shiny. Glitter!

YAY CARBS!!!!!!

After the relatively easy 20 pounds I lost on The Paleo Diet, I gained back 10 of that (in a freakishly easy fashion) on The Complete Opposite of Paleo Diet.

I’m 30 now. I’ve birthed 3 not-tiny children, and I’m pretty consistent about being awful and lazy when it comes to getting back in shape post-partum. Yes, even though it’s 18 whole months, this still counts as post-partum. Ahem.

The biggest kick in the butt for me right now is the fact that I’m going to be Maid of Honor in one of my best friend’s wedding in April. And I already have the dress. And I bought it when I was on Paleo. Sooooo, I have to fit into it! And, you know, I’d rather not look like a wild boar up there next to a bunch of cute, skinny non-moms.

We’ve already been improving the quality of our food, mainly for the kids. Brian and I still let some things slide for ourselves (like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream – my super duper yummy weakness). I may or may not have eaten some every night. For a month. Maybe? I can’t remember for sure.

I’m pretty notorious for going all out with whatever I’m doing (when I finally get around to whatever it is), so when I decided to go “casually low carb”, I of course went overboard on Day 1. I woke up the next morning sweating (who am I kidding – I was liquifying), shaky, weak, and out of it. Whoa. Thankfully, my adorable children randomly decided to bring me breakfast in bed. This consisted of banana bread I had made a few days before (yay carbs!!) and a stroganoff-esque dish leftover from the night before poured over some biscuits (they thought the stroganoff was gravy from biscuits and gravy….). I wolfed down the much needed provisions and went back to sleep, praying that I would awake back in one piece.

I did, and after that, I chilled out a bit with the low carb and just aimed for moderation of everything. I started using an app to track my food and so far, I’m managing to stay in the range of 1600 calories a day without feeling like I’m starving. I get as much protein as I can and try not to graze too much. I’ve been guzzling water. I guess this is where nursing comes in handy – that burns an extra 300 or so calories each day! So far I’ve lost 4.5 pounds and I’m hoping that it keeps dropping. I want to get back down to my cute size before I get all pregnant and big again someday…

I can't even believe that's me, except for the small boy chewing on my leg. Dead giveaway.

Anyway, it’s a process, but I’m trying not to be too strict or all-or-nothing about it, which again, is totally my M.O. Anyone else trying to get rid of baby/winter/lazy weight? What’s working for you?

They actually mostly LIKE each other....and they are SO cute.

Next. Pizza. Because nothing is as important as pizza. Heh.

One quarter of my readers contacted me about the pizza dough recipe I posted awhile back. She tried it (I was both shocked and flattered) and was a sad panda when the dough didn’t cook through. I guess I didn’t really specify how large I make my pizzas…Whoops.

I flatten my dough out on the back of a large rectangular cookie sheet, and it pretty much touches all sides. So it’s good sized and it makes the crust just the right thickness. I made it with whole wheat flour this week, in an attempt to add more wholesome nutritious goodness to our ‘za, and it turned out ridiculously well. I had to knead it/beat it up a bit more, because the wheat flour seemed to be denser, but the finished product was a universal hit. It took 15 minutes @ 450.

Also, in that same post, I shared an “Un-Tomato” recipe. It was okay, but the beets were really pretty disturbing color-wise, and the texture wasn’t perfect. I searched around on the Feingold forums and found another un-tomato recipe, which I made tonight. It was perfection. I highly recommend it for any salicylate-sensitive (or not!) people out there. DELISH. So, here’s that recipe.

I never thought pomegranates would have anything to do with my pizza...

• 32 oz. organic carrots
• 3/4 cup chicken broth
• 3/4 cup pomegranate juice (I used this kind)
• 2 Tbsp. lemon juice
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. oregano
• 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
• 1 tsp. basil
• 1/2 tsp sugar

The recipe originally called for 2-15 oz cans of carrots, but I didn’t have any. Fresh makes me happier anyway. I decided to steam them to retain as many of the nutrients as possible. I peeled the carrots, chopped them up into little rounds and steamed them. I stirred them once after 5 minutes, then cooked them for 5 minutes longer. Then I combined everything in my Cuisinart and pureed.

Then I modified it into my pizza sauce, like last time, by adding:

• 1 tbsp brown sugar
• 1 tbsp honey
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 3 tbsp dried basil
• 1/2 tsp fennel seeds
• 1/2 tsp oregano
• 1/2 tsp thyme
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder

It was outrageously yummy. I highly recommend this to everyone! Enjoy

• My skin is clear again. Paleo and Feingold have this in common: no artificial crap, and to that I’m attributing this complexion. I’ve gone back to using pure olive oil soap to wash my face and virgin coconut oil to moisturize. 1 week = clear, vibrant skin.
• Eli is much calmer. He has his moments still, and there was one hell of a meltdown, but overall, so much better. Will write in more detail later.
• I feel more focused, less anxious, less randomly irate.
• Brian’s heartburn is gone.

Stage 1 of Feingold excludes natural foods high in salicylates as well as all artificial colors, flavors, fragrance and preservatives. As stated on this website, “Salicylates are chemicals that occur naturally in many plants – they’re a kind of natural pesticide – to protect the plants against insects and diseases”. One very interesting factoid from that same page:

Research shows that about 20% of adults with asthma¹, 60% with of people with food-induced itchy rashes, headaches or migraines, 70% of people with irritable bowel symptoms² and 75% of children with behaviour problems³ may be sensitive to salicylates.

That is exactly what we are trying to sort out with our kids, and with ourselves. It stands to reason that if one or more of our children is sensitive to salicylates, Brian or I may also be sensitive.

Anyway, I don’t know what things are like in your neck of the woods, but Fridays around here are Pizza Night. I make it from scratch every week and it is super yum. However, tomatoes are a no-no in Stage 1, so I was a bit nervous about how we would be able to still make this happen. Luckily, my handy dandy Feingold packet has some recipes, one of which is an “Un-Tomato Sauce”.  Color me both skeptical and very skeptical. It’s made from beets and carrots. I’d never had a beet before tonight, but I had not heard positive things.

I’m happy to report that my concerns were unfounded. The kids loved it, Brian loved it – even I loved it, mostly! I’m going to share my little concoction here – I used the Un-Tomato Sauce recipe (with fresh, instead of canned, ingredients and slight modifications) as a base for my usual pizza sauce, which I found online at some point pre-Feingold. It’s a sweet sauce, just the way I like it, so keep that in mind.

Un-Tomato Sauce (slightly modified from Feingold Association recipe)

• 3 large beets, peeled and chunked
• 3 large carrots, peeled and chunked
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 2 cups water
• 1/2 tsp oregano
• 1 tsp basil
• 1/2 tsp white sugar

Bring to a boil, then reduce heat, allowing to simmer until veggies are very soft.  Add more water as needed. Mash it up by hand as it cooks. Continue simmering until sauce begins to thicken (took about an hour). Let cool slightly, then puree. I had to do mine in 2 batches in the food processor. I put the first pureed batch into a large bowl, then started the second batch. To the large bowl I added my additional pizza sauce ingredients.

Pizza Sauce (slightly modified from brew.cook.pair.joy)

• 1 tbsp brown sugar
• 1 tbsp honey
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp dried basil
• 1/2 tsp fennel seeds (throw these into the food processor with the rest of the Un-Tomato Sauce to get crushed)
• 1/2 tsp oregano
• 1/2 tsp thyme
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder

After batch 2 of the sauce is done blending, add it to the bowl and stir well. Pop it in the refrigerator until you need it.

Full disclosure: it’s kind of an electric fuschia color, which is a bit off-putting, though the kids didn’t seem to mind in the least. The sausage pizza was better than the cheese, also. I think the sausage kind of helped hide the fact that it wasn’t standard pizza sauce. With just cheese on top, the texture is just different enough to be kind of…weird.

And just to round things out, I’ll share my go-to pizza crust. I found it on allrecipes.com and it’s a keeper. Fast and easy!

Pizza Crust

• 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon white sugar
• 1 cup warm water
• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). In a medium bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, in a separate bowl, combine flour, salt and oil. I like to use my hands for this.
3. Add the flour mixture to the yeast and mix well. I use my hands for this also. Really work it together, squeeze it between your fingers, knead slightly. It should become smooth within a couple of minutes. Let it rest for 5 minutes.
4. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and pat or roll into a round. Transfer crust to a lightly greased pizza pan or baker’s peel dusted with cornmeal. Spread with desired toppings and bake in preheated oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Let baked pizza cool for 5 minutes before serving.

And that’s it! It probably seems like a lot of work, but it’s really not. And it’s so worth the results! Yum yum.

I’m happy to observe after 1 week that things are improving, slowly but surely, and we haven’t had to sacrifice. We can still eat “junk food” – just has to be the right kind. Honestly, I’ve just kept some processed food in the pantry so the kids don’t feel like this is some weird thing, Paleo 2.0 or worse. We haven’t changed what we’re eating drastically, and we’re still eating delish food. Win win, chicken din!